The horror of drowning

Imagine the feeling of panic that sets in when you dive too deep into the water. First comes the shock that you have overestimated your abilities, and the horrible realization that you might not have what it takes to swim back to the surface. Next comes the awful awareness of the water—a suffocating force—threatening to crush you.

Down here it's quiet and close; the people you were swimming with above just minutes ago seem far away and unreachable. As you struggle to reach the surface, the pain of holding your breath becomes unbearable, the weight against your chest makes  it even more difficult to reach the surface. The light of the sun reflecting on water begins to seem further and further away—too far to reach before your lungs explode.

When you finally emerge from the water, it's with huge gasps and gulps of air and funny looks from your friends. "Where have you been?" They might ask. "You okay?"

You nod, returning to what you were doing before you dove too deep. But the exhausting, life or death battle that took place beneath the water stays with you. You marvel that nobody noticed how close you came to not making it.

Depression: emotional drowning

Many people who suffer from depression fight this battle every day, submerged not in water but in the grasp of a very real, serious illness. The painful feeling of not being able to breathe, the fear that you might not make it to tomorrow, the sense of isolation when nobody realizes how much you're struggling, are all common experiences for a person suffering with depression.

Depression is a widespread illness, affecting around 35 million Americans. Though common, those suffering from the disease often feel as if they are cut off from the rest of the world. Literally trapped by their despair, a depressed person may lose interest in the things they once enjoyed and withdraw emotionally from their loved ones.

Many people also experience anxiety, causing them to be irritable and frustrated. The sufferer may find it difficult to even get out of bed, interfering with their ability to work and maintain relationships. Trouble sleeping, weight loss or gain, substance abuse, physical aching and pain or fatigue and suicidal thoughts are all common symptoms of depression. In extreme cases, the depressed person may become psychotic, experiencing irrational thoughts or delusions, and sometimes hallucinations.

All of these symptoms separate depression from the normal feelings of sadness that most people have at some point or another. If you find yourself feeling tired, sad and hopeless with no sign of relief, and if these experiences are interfering with your ability to enjoy life, please seek help as soon as possible.

Depression is a serious condition that not only affects a person's ability to enjoy life, but if left untreated can wear down their immune system, making it easier to catch other illnesses like colds, flu and heart disease.

If you are one of the millions of people struggling with depression, you’re not alone. We can build a treatment plan customized specifically for you.  We’ll help you find ways of coping with the depression and enjoy life and relationships again.

Call us today and take the first steps toward a happier, healthier life. We’ll help you stay afloat to enjoy many joyful tomorrows.

Is someone in your life relying too heavily on you?

As children, we absorb everything. We come into the world helpless, and only by observing the people around us do we grow and adapt. With help from our parents and siblings, we learn to eat, drink, walk, and speak. 

But the most important thing we learn is how to form bonds with other people. The success of our early relationships is vital to our ability to build positive relationships as adults. If the bond established between a parent and child is toxic, there is a good chance the cycle will repeat itself in adulthood.

When it was originally defined in 1935, co-dependency referred to the destructive relationships that are formed between alcoholics and the people closest to them. The definition has since broadened to describe an emotionally damaging relationship where one person requires constant support and the other struggles to provide it.

Co-dependent individuals are manipulated and controlled by their sick or struggling partner, who could be a friend, spouse, or family member. They may have extreme feelings of low self-confidence, a fear of abandonment, and a desperate need for reassurance that they are wanted. Their value is based on their ability to protect their loved one.

Although they have good intentions, a pathologically co-dependent person’s low self-worth leads them into repeated cycles of relationships with people they try to save or protect. They use these partnerships to validate their own existence. 

The burden of obligation they feel as a chronic caregiver can lead to intense depression, frustration, or even resentment. They might see themselves as victims of the relationship and feel oppressed or unable to escape their circumstances.  

Out of desperation, some co-dependent people will turn to drugs to cope with their emotional pain. Compulsive behaviors such as workaholism and unhealthy sexual activities may also develop. 

There is no universal co-dependent relationship. Numerous combinations of abuse, addictions, compulsions, or other damaging, unhealthy behaviors may occur. But the core feature of a co-dependent relationship is a person who places someone else's needs, desires, and well-being above their own.

Although this behavior may feel fulfilling at first, forsaking your own emotional and physical welfare can have significant, long-term consequences. You may lose your sense of identity and independence, all while dismissing your personal struggles as irrelevant.

If you find that you have difficulty trusting people, that you repeatedly take on responsibility for their actions, if you’re plagued with a sense of guilt and low self-worth, and feel trapped and angry as if you have no control, you may be in a co-dependent relationship. 

Because this behavior is established early in life, it can seem hopeless and impossible to change. But by exploring the childhood experiences which first led to co-dependency, you can begin to understand your current patterns and learn how to build healthier relationships.

Do you see co-dependence in your life?  Reach out today. We’ll help you take the first steps toward freedom and confidence.

Hiking, Camping, and River Views: Your Perfect NJ Getaway

Exhausted by city traffic and crowded streets? Discover old-growth forest and peaceful waters, just a short trip away from the New York Metropolitan area. Your weekend escape to the Garden State awaits with these two well-loved destinations

Hacklebarney State Park has been called the most beautiful park in New Jersey, and it’s easy to see why. With ancient trees towering overhead, five miles of trails winding through rocky terrain, and sweeping views of the Black River, it’s an adventurer’s dream. The rugged trail will challenge skilled hikers, and there are easier routes for those who prefer a gentler pace. Bring your fishing pole if you’d like to cast a line in the river, but keep your eyes open for black bears!

After a day on the trails, head less than 30 minutes to Spruce Run Recreation Area. Home to the third largest reservoir in the state, it offers 1,290 acres of water and 15 miles of shoreline. You can pitch your tent at the campground, spend the afternoon fishing or boating, and wake up to the sun rising over the reservoir. If riding the waters isn’t your vibe, you can view nesting songbirds and migratory waterfowl at the wildlife observation blind right near the boat launch.

Explore the Wild Side of the Garden State

Hacklebarney and Spruce Run are perfect getaways for nature-lovers, whether you’re visiting for the first time or a long-time resident looking for a new experience. Learn why New Jersey is dubbed the Garden State by immersing yourself in unforgettable green paradise. Camping at Spruce Run is only available from April 1st through October 31st, so don’t hesitate. Adventure is waiting.